Be Present

Today the sun is shining.  It is only April and here in southeastern New Mexico it has hit 100 degrees the past two days.  I cannot imagine how the summer will be.  Like everything else, I will do my best not to look that far forward.  Ha ha Even that, temperatures that high, is overwhelming to think about.  I have to admit, it has been beautiful.  It is one of those feelings where you walk out of the house in a rush to take care of some obligation, your mind is in a million places, and the shear beauty of the day slaps you in the face and screams, "Isn't this amazing?!"  It literally stops me in my tracks as I walk to my vehicle and makes me recognize how gorgeous the world can be.

I've had plenty of time for introspection lately.  A common theme that keeps coming up is being present in the moment.  I am a total Type A personality with some definite OCD tendencies.  I would even admit I am a bit up tight.  I try to hide that as best I can in hopes it will disappear, but my efforts are rarely successful.  My husband, on the other hand, is a total free spirit.  Luckily, with age, he's grounded enough to take care of responsibilities but beyond that he soaks up every bit of fun he can with no regard for what tomorrow holds.  I envy that peace of mind.  I long for that freedom.  Of course, I found this completely endearing when we were dating, but at this point I am just thoroughly annoyed at his nonchalant attitude towards everything.  I find myself wondering how he does it and how can I learn without asking him and boosting his ego.  I'm partly kidding, of course.  Partly being an important word here.

I am an information junkie.  I love to learn new things.  In my situation, I try to be my own nutritionist, integrative medicine advisor, and therapist.  I have been scouring all books, websites, brochures, anything I can get my hands on to find out how to live a "normal" life in my current situation specifically focusing on my digestive troubles that hinder my quality of life so much.  Interestingly enough, I am finding that nearly every aspect of our lives is intertwined with the others making it nearly impossible to make a lifestyle change in one area without affecting another area of your life.  Should this be a "eureka" moment for me?....I would think not, but it has been. 

Now that I am here in front of the computer trying to organize my thoughts and explain it all, I realize how naive I must be to think that focusing on one area would only affect that area.  I realized long ago that the negative things in your life affect every aspect of your life so why would I not make the connection when referring to the positive?  Funny. 

Needless to say, it is difficult to keep our family relationship strong, stable, supportive, and healthy in the face of all we have going on.  So, not only have I been researching my digestive functioning and how to have the best quality of life, but I have been researching ideas for keeping our family together.  Making sure everyone (myself, our son, and my husband) feels safe, happy, comfortable, loved, secure, and respected is important to me because it seems to bear the burden of progressive chronic illness (bear the burden of life in general) much better than when we are at odds with one another. 

As I said earlier, a recurring theme is beginning to nag at me (as if my own nagging internally hasn't already started the fire), be present.  What does that mean? you may be thinking.  Well, I heard a good explanation the other day that made it sound so simple.  In a world of multitasking, it is nearly impossible to not multitask.  BUT make the attempt.  It literally only takes a few moments.  Stop and take it in.  Whatever task is at hand.  Seriously, even work.  It is proven that you will preform better and remember what you did if you allow yourself to focus.  This means while you are copying the endless stacks of papers your boss has asked you to do, don't think of what you need to pick up for dinner after you get off of work.  As I described earlier, the weather seems to knock me off track as I am rushing out the door and I have learned to smell, sometimes even close my eyes and feel the warmth on my skin, listen to the birds chirping and the wind flowing through the trees.  I do not stop in my front yard and make a ceremony out of the event, but as I walk to my vehicle I take it in.  As I am unlocking the door, I close my eyes, just for a second, to feel it.  I take a deep breath in and out and then jump in my vehicle and go about my day.  I do this numerous times throughout the day.  When I step outside to feed the dogs, I take it in.  When I go to pick up my son from school, his class is always one of the last classes to be released, I watch patiently as the other kids are greeted by their parents, siblings, babysitters, etc and look at the pure joy in their eyes.  I watch as the kids file out of the classrooms.  The different conversations these 6 year olds have with each other or their teachers, even when you can see they are caught up in their own imagination, it is just pure beauty.  Whereas I used to get impatient waiting for his class, I started taking a deep breathe.  Realizing no matter how impatient I am or how busy I am it is not going to make his class be released any sooner so why not take those few moments and soak up that energy from these beautiful kids.  Then, I see my son (always the highlight of my day) and we rush off to continue our multitasking busy lives.  It's all about stopping.....and ALLOWING yourself that peace.

This has a major effect on your health.  It reduces stress, facilitates memory and cognition, and increases happiness.  Compare those findings to any of a super fruit out there or supplement and your sold!  The simple act of being present while you eat actually aids in digestion.  Not only that, but because you are focused on your meal you will tend to eat less thus you will see weight loss if it is needed.  All in all, it is just a better way to live your life.  Modern day America makes that difficult with all the technology and luxuries we have, we are taught to work as hard as the machines we use and eventually our bodies give out- just as a machine would break.  This is something you have to take back.  This is something you have to allow yourself to do because we are hardwired to think "single-tasking" is not acceptable. 

50 Shades of Grey is all the rage right now.  Coincidentally, it falls right in line with what I am finding about my dietary health as well as my relationship health.  I saw a therapist talk about why it is having such a huge affect on woman and she put it as simply as I have said throughout, "It is about being in the moment."  I will allow you to research for yourself what the book is about, but the young woman in the book is taught to "let go".  This book is being credited for bringing back romance in long term marriages, bringing back the grove of middle aged women, and just sparking a whole new conversation.  I will say it is erotic, so the therapist was speaking also about how being in the moment actually increases your sexual health as well.  The theme remains the same, be present.

Today, in our community, is a sad day.  This afternoon a vigil is scheduled for a local teenager who passed away.  He was 17 and involved in an ATV accident.  He was a respected student at a local high school that was very active in extra curricular activities.  He was well liked.  His family is well liked and respected in the community.  It is very tragic and terribly sad.  A lot of his young friends are going through their first life or death situation.  Many of them are facing mortality for the first time.  It is a learning experience not only for them but their parents.  It is not easy to parent at a time like this, when even the wisest of men have no idea what to say.  A child put it into perspective by saying, "We are celebrating the fact that he is with Jesus.  Who wouldn't want to be with Jesus?"  And....that's what it is, a celebration of this young man's life.  Yes, we will mourn, the entire community.  No doubt his family will greatly mourn his loss.  But in the end, we need to stop.  Take it in.  Every moment you have had with those you've lost, cherish them.  Unfortunately, it brings into focus a necessity; cherish what you have NOW. 

That's what being present is about.  Stop.  Allow all thoughts to go in one ear and out the other and just breathe.  You will find that not only are you more peaceful, but you will remember those important moments so much more clearly when you take the time to really be present.  Those memeories are what you will turn to........and why wouldn't you want them to be strong memories?