I am writing this today in anticipation of Monday's procedures. I am finally being scoped to find answers to my weight loss, lack of digestion, pain, and other unmentionables. I have been waiting years for relief. The last several weeks has been full of tests and scans. I am completely exhausted, but that light at the end of the tunnel keeps me pushing forward.....along with that amazing smile on my son's face!
Last Saturday my GI doc called and told me that I tested positive for an infection called Clostridium Difficile also known as C Diff. He put me on an antibacterial medication and instructed to start it immediately, and to report back to him on Wednesday. I had no idea what this was so I looked it up. As far as I understand it is a bacteria in the colon. A lot of people are exposed to this or have it in their body, but their immune systems can take care of it. Apparently, if you have been on antibiotics for a long period of time they can diminish the good bacteria allowing the C Diff to take over. I have not been on antibiotics recently. Another risk factor is if you live in a long term care facility or have been in the hospital for more than 2 weeks. Again, not a part of my life recently. And finally, the last risk factor is AIDS/HIV or a suppressed immune system. I trust it is the latter.
The day before that phone call I had an ultrasound. It was check on my internal organs, the ducts, their functioning, and blood flow. The woman who did the US was great. She was so warm, friendly, and compassionate. It is people like her that remind me how good the world really is. She found some calcifications on my gallbladder. At this moment in time, to my knowledge, no doctor has reviewed that report. I believe it will need to be removed by the way she described it, but that is another waiting game.
I have been running myself ragged trying to get things in order at home. I usually know when things are going to get difficult and try to plan accordingly. Although, Monday's procedures are routine and outpatient, I have no idea what they will see. My primary doctor has been out of town all week so I assume when she returns she will see the US report as well as the tests results and make a determination on what steps to take next. Fortunately or unfortunately because I have been in this position before for other diseases or organ systems, I know the next few weeks if not months will take a lot out of me. My husband works full time so I try to make sure there are only necessities to take care of while I am out of commission. Make his life as easy as possible.
Tonight, we are planning on attending a Halloween party. This should be exciting and fun. I have not gone out for fun in over a month. I rarely see many of my friends and the majority of them will be at this party. My son's aunt will spend time with him so my husband and I can have a night off. I should be anxiously awaiting the fun......instead I am anxiously awaiting how I will feel. My stomach is not so great today. I feel a lot of pressure under my ribs and tenderness throughout my abdomen. I have no appetite and a horrible taste in my mouth (probably from the antibacterial). I am nervous about dressing up because woman's costumes are generally pretty skimpy. Even though I am tiny, I am very self conscious because of my gut issues. I also get cold very easily and it tends to make me ache. I think I covered my bases by buying some clothes to layer, but hopefully keep the costume cute. I hope I can push this all aside for a few hours and enjoy myself. I just need some rest. Wish me luck.
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