Silver Linings Outshine

It's Monday and all I can think of today is all the wonderful things that happened this weekend.  We had family time, soccer games, football, and church.  I could not think of a better way to spend my time.

Friday afternoon I went to pick up my son from school and that is where the smiles began.  His teacher left a note for me in his folder.  It just happened to be a "good" note.  "Good" notes are only sent home when exceptional things happen.  This is very special because we just had a full evaluation done and learned he has A.D.H.D. as well as anxiety.  Sadly, his anxiety is due to seeing his mother chronically ill.  My husband and I decided for our family that medication will be a last resort.  Luckily, our son has a very patient and understanding teacher as well as a delightful and eager personality himself.  His good behavior has just been increasing everyday and we are so proud.

Saturday morning we woke early for a double header in 6 and under soccer.  I will have to admit, I have never been a soccer fan or player.  The game is totally new to me.  I am now officially addicted.  Not only was the game very exciting and fast paced, the kids are ridiculously adorable.  They play 3 on 3 so I can give you no details about positions or anything.  Just seeing these kids run with such conviction and determination, smiles on their face the whole time, was pure joy.  I am proud to say my 5 year old son made his first goal in his very first game.  It did, however, count for the other team, but in his words, "at least I made a goal".  All I can say to that is, he is absolutely right!  Good job.

Saturday night I sat with my husband in our kitchen talking.  We talked for hours.  I love those nights.  I was telling him how heavenly it would be if I could wake up just one day and be symptom free.  Just one day would be amazing.  I would be so grateful.  Our nightly talks usually include our dreams and fantasies, what ifs, and somedays so this was just a typical night staring at the stars.  With a deep sigh we said goodnight and headed off to bed.  I fell asleep thinking about my wishes.

With freshly uploaded music on my ipod, I set out for my morning run.  I was so glad to get through the entire run without getting sick.  I did have to rush to the bathroom as soon as I got home, but that is still an accomplishment.  Thereafter I did not have a stomach ache.  I usually do not vocalize things that like that right away in fears of jinxing it.  After a shower, laundry, cleaning, cooking, and of course NFL football I told my husband my wish had come true.  I went through nearly an entire Sunday with little to no symptoms.  It was something I could have never expected and am so grateful.  Unfortunately, the Dallas Cowboys choked again so my bubble had a little leak, but beggars can't be choosers.

Sunday was also the tenth anniversary of the terrible September 11, 2001.  With all the raw emotion floating around it was hard not to shed a tear.  I am thankful that I did not lose anybody close to me that day.  I am thankful that although our lives have changed, we are still very blessed to live freely.  I realized my five year old will look at this day in history books the way I see Pearl Harbor Day.  I will do my best to teach him what the world was like before September 11th, and instill in him an open heart.

Sunday was also my son's first day of catechism.  I am not Catholic, but my husband's family is.  It is very important for him to raised in the church.  I am a faithful, religious person.  I was raised Presbyterian, and that's where I am most comfortable. I believe as long as you learn how to be a good person, it does not matter what label you put on it.  I also think it is important for him to see that there is a higher power in control so he does not need to worry.  He absolutely loved it.  After only an hour's time he came home with so much information.  The smile on his face was unforgettable.

Today is a rough one.  I am exhausted, weak, and fogging.  Body aches today are constant.  I also have a headache that will not quit.  No matter what the day has to offer, I always try to find the silver lining.  I have only a slight ache in my belly and have not had to rush to the bathroom once today.  I have been hungry and able to eat without additional medication.  There is no soccer practice, church activities, or prior engagements so I get to relax and enjoy Monday Night Football.

The silver linings outshine the rain falling.

another day another stomach ache

This week has been interesting.  Lots of information, lots of speculation, lots of changes, and still lots of smiles.  First of all, I was awakened in the middle of the night to what I am sure is a mouse in the wall between our bedroom closet and our bathroom.  SCARY!  Mice carry disease and that terrifies me LOL This is our first home so I am a little clueless as how to take care of this pest.  I do not want an infestation.  Advice anyone?  Cats are not an option in our household.  It did lead to some interesting pillow talk, trying to figure out what that little creature could have to do so busy in the middle of the night.  We think he is building a city.

I watched an interview with Emmitt Smith yesterday.  I am a lifelong Cowboy fan and love me some Emmitt.  He talked about how he used to meditate before games to envision the great run, the touchdown, the good block, and the win.  I joked with my husband and said I was going to envision today being a good day.  I envisioned my morning run going smoothly without me having to stop because of getting sick.  I envisioned getting dressed in regular clothes with no pain.  I envisioned being hungry for meals.  I went to bed with a smile on my face ready to face what I had envisioned.

I woke up this morning feeling motivated.  I set out for my run and made it almost all the way through before my stomach decided it no longer wanted what was inside.  A typical event in my daily life these days.  I rushed to the bathroom, dealt with it, got in a nice shower, and tried to relax away the pain.  I got myself ready.  I put on my makeup and did my hair with a smile on my face.  Today is going to be a good day.  I then chose my outfit.

I picked a cute tank top and a pair of jeans.  Although all of my jeans at this point are baggy, I rarely get to wear a pair because the pressure of the waistband hurts.  I have been wearing many elastic waistband outfits lately, but long for the wardrobe that just sits in my closet, waiting to be worn.  Our car is in the shop right now so I had to drive my husband to work.  I put on my clothes and topped it off with some perfume.  Feeling pretty, just a little achy, we headed out the door. 

The second I sit down in the driver's seat (I have regained driving privileges), the pain and pressure shoots through my abdomen.  GGRRR!!  After the 5 minute drive to the pharmacy where he works, it was obvious I would not be able to wear jeans today.  I had them unbuttoned and unzipped before we got out of our own driveway.

So, here I sit at home today.  The first day out of the week I have no doctor appointments or weigh ins or paperwork to deal with, so I plan on resting until my little man gets out of school.  I changed into my elastic band lounge pants for relief.  With a sigh, I looked in the mirror.  At least the cute tank I picked out goes with these pants, and my hair and makeup are still good.  So there!  I'll just expand my wardrobe (no pun intended) to included varying types of elastic waisted pants.  Maybe denim, buttons, and zippers are overrated anyway.

I have an appointment in a nearby town with a gastroenterologist.  My local doctors fear I have Ulcerative Colitis or Crohn's disease.  Both (surprise, surprise) autoimmune disease of the intestines.  I am excited to get information and answers.  I pray for relief.  I fear, like many of the conditions I have, the treatment options will be greatly limited due to contraindications of other illnesses or meds I am currently dealing with. 

I received a comment from a cousin asking if any doctor has stopped to think there may be one big underlying cause to this cluster of diseases that seem so relentless.  Unfortunately, even the Mayo Clinic was left clueless.  I get many comments that someday I will make somebody very rich when they figure it out and publish my case in a medical journal.  I also get asked about research constantly.  No one has stepped up.  No one has decided to take this on and get to the bottom of it.  I have actually been turned away many times due to the complexity of the situation. Each doctor and each specialist focuses solely on their specialty and recommend that someone take an thorough look.  My primary doctor is a Godsend, but is left dumbfounded.  I am hopeful this blog will end the cycle.

I am excited for this day still.  My son has been promised a snow cone if he gets a sticker for good behavior at school today.  I am a bit of a stickler for junk food so he is very excited!  Tomorrow morning he has his very first soccer game.  Actually, a double header.  My husband and I were basketball players and I am a runner.  Soccer is a whole new world for us, but our little man LOVES it.  Seeing the joy in his face is the best feeling in the world.  Finally, on Sunday the Cowboys start off their NFL season with a the new coach.  Let's hope this season is better than the last few.  I think family time, movies, soccer, and football are just what I need.  Now, time for a nap!